Communication is not just about words; it also involves a connection?a common ?language? that allows each of you to appreciate the other person?s feelings and to show you each care. Communication is also about creating relationships in which you pay attention to each person?s needs?relationships that help each party understand where and if they fit.
Giving is a critical component of communication. The act of giving involves offering support, guidance, and love, all neatly wrapped in a package of appropriate communication. Set the example by being the first one to give. Show your willingness to?give. Through effective communication and sensitivity, you demonstrate your desire to support and take an active role in your mate?s life. Both parties must be truly happy to make a relationship work. It requires courage on each of your parts to ensure that communication continues at a high level.
Make a commitment to no longer tolerate a no-communication environment, and you will recognize when the other person avoids dealing with important issues. You will realize that you cannot be happy?and the relationship cannot be happy?if there is little communication or recognition of your feelings and needs. You will not tolerate being drawn into game playing about the reasons for a failure to communicate. You will be open-minded to all solutions and each other?s feelings, but you?will not tolerate silence when communication is necessary. You will realize when important decisions need to be made.
The method of communication is not as important as the actual communication. It is always preferable to talk in person, face-to-face, without other distractions. However, conversation by phone can be equally productive. Phone conversations can also allow you to prepare an organized outline of your feelings. Write everything down, even the stuff you?re not going to talk about. You can then follow that outline in healthy discussion, reducing emotional reactions or other unproductive or reactive tendencies.
One final point: There should be joy in communication, in knowing how the other person feels and what they like or do not like. I say again, do not compromise the need for communication. If each of you really cares, you will try to find a way to effectively communicate with each other. It?s the only way to ensure confidence and trust in a relationship. It?s the only way to have a truly happy and fulfilling relationship?something you both deserve.
Source: http://www.magerempowerment.com/v2/blog/?p=1107
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